Victoria Beckham - Victoria Beckham

Could this be the finest full-length album associated with, but not recorded by, David Beckham?

The answer is no - that would be the Bend It Like Beckham soundtrack. This is probably the best full-length album with a picture of David Beckham's wife wrestling a puma on the cover, though - arguably.

My money's on the puma, whether it's stuffed, sedated or whatever. Do you honestly think that Victoria Beckham's got sufficient strength to extricate herself from beneath a puma? No way. She's barely got the strength to prevent her jaw from constantly hanging open.

Victoria Beckham has also mistakenly used her intitials on that cover, presumably unaware that VB stands for Victoria Bitter - a tasteless, effervescent beer from Australia. In fact, Victoria Beckham is probably the only thing weaker than Victoria Bitter in the entire world.

Just think how disappointed a puma would be to be associated with weak beer or Victoria Beckham, let alone both.

Why doesn't anyone ever think of the pumas?