Bon Jovi add extra date to UK tour

The sadistic bastards.

Amy Winehouse considers rehab

Someone who's been to rehab before with no noticeable effect is thinking about going back. She's not actually going, as yet. She's just thinking about it; weighing up whether it'll be worthwhile or not. She's still mulling over whether she can be bothered or not.

Music news is top drawer today. Tomorrow, I'll publish a whole raft of updates about how Keith Richards is in two minds about whether his guitar needs restringing. Also this week: Kylie Minogue ponders that eternal dilemma - tea or coffee?

Kate Moss somehow in news

Hosepipe-bodied, panda-eyed, walking self-caricature, Kate Moss, goes out with someone from the band The Kills now, apparently. Can you say 'she's old enough to be his mother' yet, or is that still a couple of years off? I'm not sure.

Anyway, apparently the eyebrowless dementotron wants to sing a song on stage with Pete Doherty and this guy from The Kills, Jamie Hince, isn't happy about it.

Someone said: "Kate says she dreams about doing a number with Pete and has never felt as high as when she was on stage with him. She misses it.

"Jamie is scared there will be such excitement and hype about her being reunited with Pete on stage that everyone will assume they are back together. It would be humiliating."

Excitement at a Pete Doherty gig seems an unlikely eventuality, unless it's the kind of excitement that erupts when people have paid money to see something that's palpably shit and they start to kick the venue to pieces to vent their frustrations.

Chemical Brothers - Singles 93-03

The Chemical Brothers must be the only band in the world who could release a singles compilation that would be inferior to each and every one of their other albums.

It's not that their singles are bad. They're relatively bad, in the sense that they tend to be the inferior songs off any given album, give or take the odd exception. Mostly it's just the result of remarkably high standards of album. Get any Chemical Brothers album and it's brilliant.

Some people call The Chemical Brothers 'The Chemicals' which is totally moronic. They're 'brothers' who are 'chemical'. They're not 'chemicals'. Actually, they're not brothers, but they're more brothers than they are chemicals.

Same goes for 'The Arctics' although 'The Monkeys' could be confusing, I admit. Doesn't matter. Call them 'The Monkeys' or call them 'Arctic Monkeys'. Those are the options.

Backstreet Boys - Unbreakable

Unbreakable? By God, we owe it to ourselves to at least try.

We could position The Backstreet Boys so that either end is suspended but their middle is unsupported and drop a piano. Surely that would break them?

We could freeze them solid and then strike them with a wrecking ball. I've high hopes for that one.

We could give them to boisterous four-year-old to play with. They can break anything.

All I ask is that you don't give up. Don't take their word for it. Don't be cowed. Don't be beaten. Break them.

Paul Oakenfold - Greatest Hits And Remixes

Or 'Starry Eyed Surprise and Remixes' as it should be called. Probably the Big Brother music's on there as well, but I don't know what it's called. I wonder how many people will pick up this album, scour the sleeve for 'Big Brother Choon' and then put it back down again, disappointed.

This is probably quite good, overall. Paul Oakenfold remixes do tend to improve on the originals and if you think that they don't, try listening to the original of almost any of the tracks on this album.

"This isn't the original," you'll be saying. Yes, it is, actually. You just think that Paul Oakenfold's remix is the original.

One of the prickiest covers to an album in living memory though.

Santana - Ultimate Santana

Nearly November? It must be time to start releasing all the 'best of' compilations.

People don't want new stuff for Christmas, they want selected highlights of stuff they've already got but handily placed in the same package. This is even more crucial now that everyone dumps everything on some form of MP3 player and sets it to 'random'. If you've got something on there twice, there's double the chance you'll get to hear it.

Ultimate Santana then, which we've twice typed as 'Ultimage' for some reason. Santana is of course famous for meandering guitar twiddling that goes on for hours backed by more percussion than two cymbal factories running into each other and falling over.

This being Ultimate Santana, he's gone even further. Imagine the Big Bang. Imagine every atom expanding at the speed of light is replaced by a bongo or a high hat. Imagine the cacophony.

Now imagine that this goes on for longer than eternity.