P Diddy - Press Play

Press stop! Press stop!

Maybe P Diddy's punning. Maybe Press Play refers to toying with the media. You know, 'the press'. Nah. It would never be that. P Diddy's far too busy making money to have time to pun. He's too busy to get a proper name, for God's sake.

He's also too busy to make a whole record all on his own. Of the 18 tracks on Press Play, no fewer than 13 'feature' someone else. Of the remainder, one is an intro and three are bracketed 'interlude' which presumably means they're just silence. The remaining track is called 'The Future' which seems optimistic for someone who clearly lacks the inclination to go it alone.

Perhaps he's just redressing the balance. How many songs are there out there that 'feature' P Diddy in one guise or another? My guess is that there's one million. More than 15 anyway, so he's still in credit.

I've just found out that he's actually just called 'Diddy' in the US. Apparently he's fighting someone for the right to be called 'Diddy' in Europe as well. Some guy called Diddy. There are more names. Pick a good one. Fight someone for that. What about The Diddinator 9000 - that's a good name. Or The Puffinator 9000 - there's another good name. The Combsinator 9000, The P-inator 9000. There's a wealth of great names to choose from.

If I looked like P Diddy, I probably wouldn't put me on the cover.