Evanescence - The Open Door

The name Evanescence probably has some meaning and a fairer man than I might find out what it was and refrain from ridiculing it. A brighter or more motivated man might say something smart about the name, even if he didn't bother finding out what it meant.

Evanescence is a stupid name for a band.

How can anyone summon the will to act all 'heartfelt rock'? It's so transparent. You must feel like you're performing in a middlebrow BBC sketch show parodying teenagers when you put on that earnest face and voice and hammer your guitar. It's a joke.

Evanescence have that girl who warbles like some sort of wraith as well. You'd try that once and then never speak of it again due to embarrassment. At best you'd say: "Remember that time when we got Emily to do a weird, pseudo-religious wail? At least failing all of your GCSEs isn't as shit as that."

I'll say that the album's anthemic, safe in the knowledge that you all understand that word to be the greatest insult in the reviewer's armoury.