Kelly Jones - Only The Names Have Been Changed

If only the music had been changed too. Or at least the singer. Or the words. Why only the names? Why, God, why?

Kelly Jones is the girl-named lead singer from Stereophonics. I will never - NEVER - forgive Stereophonics for producing the most needless cover version of all time. It was of course 'Handbags and Gladrags', written by Manfred Mann's Mike D'Abo and originally performed by the jaw-droppingly voiced Chris Farlowe.

I'm not sure if Stereophonics knew this was the original version. Either way, what they decided to do was such a painful waste of studio time and subsequently radio time, that the Government should sue them for damage to the economy. They made a note-for-note, aural facsimile of Rod Stewart's cover version. Kelly Jones even sings like Rod.

It's so pointless I could stab myself in the eye with it and not feel a thing. I'm sometimes hard-pressed to tell which version is which. Why? Just why?

Even if this album isn't complete shit, Jones has such a colossal rock debt that he'll almost certainly never get back into credit. In fact, 'Handbags and Gladrags' taints all of his work to such an extent that it's almost impossible for him to ever create anything that anyone could ever listen to. Even if he makes something unbelievably ace, all you'll hear is an old man farting.

Oh and the tracklisting is just a list of names. Bear the album title in mind and make your own mind up as to whether that's annoying or not - just make sure you decide that it IS annoying.