Take That - Beautiful World

Suddenly everyone my age likes Take That. It's possibly in an ironic kind of way, which is still no excuse.

When Take That were first around they were all over the media like a particularly virulent and irritating rash. They were in every magazine. They were on every TV show. They topped the charts with every single. It felt like it would never end.

Now they've returned and for some reason they're being treated with some sort of reverential, nostalgic good humour. Sure, each of them seems all right. Even Gary (pronounced 'Galley') Barlow doesn't seem like as much of a gimp as he used to. But STILL that's no excuse.

They make bland music. The old stuff's only memorable because you were force-fed it virtually every waking hour. I hate nostalgia. I hate how shit stuff can become seemingly worthy simply through the passage of time. It's still shit. All you're doing is giving it a second bout of unwarranted exposure.

'Reach Out', 'Patience', 'Beautiful World', 'Hold On', 'Like I Never Loved You At All', 'Shine', 'I'd Wait For Life', 'Ain't No Sense In Love', 'What You Believe In'. These are song titles finely calibrated to offend NO-ONE and therefore lose NO-ONE as a potential customer.

The only song title of merit is 'Mancunian Way' although I'm 90 percent certain that this is a play on words. If it were actually about Manchester's inner ring road, I'd be far, far happier.