Joss Stone - Introducing Joss Stone

Introducing Joss Stone is Joss Stone's third studio album. That title again: Introducing Joss Stone.

Maybe she wasn't around when she was on TV and radio all those times and thinks that she still needs an introduction. Maybe she wasn't around when she recorded the first two albums. Maybe she's demented. Maybe she couldn't think of an album title. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Let's move to some facts.

Joss Stone's speaking voice is monumentally irritating. If you were being generous, you'd say it was understated. You'd be wrong. It's wispy, voiceless and affected. It's also posh. Unforgivably so.

This album has a song called 'Tell Me What We're Gonna Do Now'. It features the rapper, Common. If Common were true to his name, he'd tell Joss Stone that they were gonna do now. He'd say: 'I'm gonna mock your ridiculous speaking voice. You can do as you please,' because commoners always have that against the posh of this world.

Then he'd break her croquet mallet over his knee and brandish it in her face, saying: 'How about we restructure society so that we, the masses, have access to the same opportunities granted you and all of your sickening ilk?'

Joss Stone would then answer, to which Common would say: 'Speak up.'

Update: I'm reliably informed that Joss Stone has now affected a cod-American or 'transatlantic' accent. This is, unbelievably, an even worse crime. It's probably one of the worst crimes there is - not far below genocide.