Fall Out Boy - From Under The Cork Tree

Did I previously slag off Fall Out Boy and in particular their song titles? Why did I do that? Oh, right, because they were all shit on that album. Well on this album they're anything but.

Actually, that's misleading. It's a mixed bag. They're still prone to abysmal plays on words, but this is offset by some of the most ridiculously lengthy song titles ever committed to the back of a CD.

'Our Lawyer Made Us Change The Name Of This Song So We Wouldn't Get Sued'. That's a bit knowing, but if it's true, what WAS the song title? My guess is it was about Mick Hucknall and some sort of industrial-strength adhesive.

'I've Got A Dark Alley And A Bad Idea That Says You Should Shut Your Mouth (Summer Song)'. Whatever you think of the content, that's one frighteningly long song title. If you string that many words together, there's bound to be something to object to. Let's overlook that and congratulate them on being resoundingly un-catchy and non-memorable.

'Champagne For My Real Friends Real Pain For My Sham Friends'. By the standards of this album, this isn't a particularly long title, but it needs highlighting as an example of Fall Out Boy's complete inability to avoid messing about with words and also their complete inability to achieve anything after doing so.

'I Slept With Someone In Fall Out Boy And All I Got Was This Stupid Song Written'. This is surely true. The 'stupid song' bit anyway.

'Get Busy Living Or Get Busy Dying (Do Your Part To Save The Scene And Stop Going)'. Anyone? I haven't got a clue.

Fall Out Boy - Infinity On High

I'm pretty sure that this band should be called Fallout Boy rather than Fall Out Boy. It's their band, of course and they can call it what they like, but I still think I'm right.

There's the small matter of the vast weight of evidence proving their backwards English, you see.

Track four: 'I'm Like A Lawyer With The Way I'm Always Trying To Get You Off (Me And You)'. Now that's a bad pun, a bit childish and overlong to boot.

Track seven: 'Thnks Fr Th Mmrs'. No vowels. Vowels are good. Vowels are what separate us from donkeys and satanists (satanists who don't use vowels, that is).

Track eight: 'The (After) Life of the Party'. We're not stupid. We know another shit play on words when we see one. You don't need to use parentheses. Those brackets just act like a beacon for your own mental ineptitude.

Track nine: 'The Carpal Tunnel of Love'. No brackets, but an even more moronic linguistic twist.

Track ten: 'Bang the Doldrums'. Three in a row. A frigging hat trick of song titles written before the songs themselves.

Track 12: 'You’re Crashing, but You’re No Wave'. A quick breather for track 11 and on with the fun and games.

Track 13: 'I’ve Got All This Ringing in my Ears and One on my Finger'. The worst yet. You don't put a 'ringing' on your finger, you put a 'ring' on it. Words fail me.

Track 15: 'G.I.N.A.S.F.S'. Does anyone, anyone at all, want to know what that stands for? It's a UK bonus track. Why do we have to suffer?