Foo Fighters - Echoes Silence Patience And Grace

Sounds like a wholesome day in the life of a religious child.

First off, fun! We're going to go down to church and listen to the echoes of the reverend's voice as he bores us to tears.

Then there'll be a short bit of silence while we think about how lucky we are that God doesn't afflict us with terrible diseases and how He doesn't blight our lives with some needless war right on our doorstep.

Then patience. A fun-packed three hours of solitary card games, all the while thanking God for making us the 'correct' ethnicity.

Finally, grace. A massive, painfully-long, tearful thank you to God for letting us be born in a rich society whose wealth is built on the suffering and exploitation of less-fortunate nations.

Religious people are dicks. Foo Fighters aren't religious. Dave Grohl seems nice. And smart. He's not religious.

Travis give away free music

What a fucking rip-off!

'My Eyes' will be given away free with next weekend's Mail on Sunday, along with several of their 'greatest hits'.

The only way I'll be getting the Mail on Sunday next weekend is if Travis are giving away their actual eyes.

Now that's harsh. Their instruments then. I'll buy the Mail on Sunday if Travis give away one of their instruments with each copy. But only because there's a minuscule chance that they'll sell fewer than five copies that day, thus enabling Travis to continue making music in some form.

New Oasis single

It's called 'Lord Don't Slow Me Down,' you can't buy it in tangible CD form and Noel Gallagher says it's "quite rocking".

What the hell does that mean? Think of all the great rocking things of our times - chairs, horses. Imagine them rocking. Imagine how much they're rocking. Maybe they're rocking a lot. Maybe they're rocking just a little. You'd never say they were 'quite rocking' though, would you?

You can't even say that something's 'not quite rocking' because that's just stationary. If something's got the potential to rock and it's in motion in the manner intended, then it's rocking. If it's not moving, then obviously it's 'not rocking'.

Those are the choices. Which is it to be, Noel?

Rilo Kiley - Under The Blacklight

Rilo Kiley's lead guitarist, Blake Sennett, used to appear in an American comedy show called 'Salute Your Shorts'. I for one applaud this title and the meaning therein.

Many garments aren't given the respect that they deserve. Shorts are held in particularly low esteem. Try getting into a high-roller's casino whilst wearing shorts. You've no chance.

So let's reclaim some dignity for these underrated coverers of our lower parts. They do sterling work for little or no reward. Salute your shorts. It's the least you can do.

You should also genuflect before your gloves and bow to your socks.

The Polyphonic Spree - The Fragile Army

What are The Fragile Army made of?

I'd bet they were made of something brittle. Fragility's a flexible sort of concept. It varies slightly according to context. In the context of an army something rigid but with no resistance to impact would be considered fragile. Glass maybe or some sort of ceramic.

Not rubber though. Rubber wouldn't be a bad material with which to construct an army. Weapons would bounce off and the soldiers would be good and supple. Rubber's the way forward.