Britney Spears - Britney

Why has Britney Spears seemingly got a purple lightning bolt passing through her pallid carcass on the cover of this album?

Perhaps it's the superstar equivalent of a kick up the arse, encouraging her to name her albums more imaginatively or ordering her to once again make the effort of having her heart beat, thus ensuring adequate blood supply to her extremities.

Look at her. She's corpselike. And you think she's rubbish when she moves around and sings. Imagine how poor she must be with rigor mortis setting in.

Very poor. Very poor indeed. Perhaps even worse than Toploader.