Robbie Williams - Welcome To Reality

How in the name of Christ have I managed to review only one Robbie Willams record when he's so astonishingly wank and I so manifestly adore slagging things off?

At once bombastic and egocentric and yet overtly 'damaged' and shy at the same time. Talk about having your cake and eating it.

Maybe he just wants to be loved. Then stop acting like such a king-size DICK.

Anyone who loves you for being a dick is a bizarre, twisted simpleton. You don't want to be loved by those sorts of people. Those sorts of people like Jim Davidson and he's a racist with an orangutan's pubes for hair.

Just calm down. Stop 'doing' anything. Don't 'do' big and attention-seeking. Don't 'do' quiet and self-effacing, because it just smacks of covert attention-seeking in conjunction with your other behaviour.

In short: Fuck off.