Emma Bunton - Free Me

I'm always astounded at how vaguely memorable pop songs can often be found on albums featuring nothing else of note.

You tend to think that some artists release singles and only singles before compiling them all for a 'best of'. Take Free Me by Emma Bunton, for example. I just about remember the title song, but I can't honestly say that I recognise any other song title.

Maybe that's because they've all got titles that are about as arresting as the air behind your left knee: 'Maybe', 'I'll Be There', 'Tomorrow', 'Amazing', 'You Are' and 'Something So Beautiful'.

What's also striking is that Emma Bunton felt she could pass as just 'Emma' when this came out. Bit ambitious.

Emma Bunton - Life In Mono

Almost every single track on Life In Mono is labelled 'album version'. Click the picture on the right and see for yourself.

It's a frigging album. What other version would it be? The answer seems to be a 'single version', because that's what version of 'Downtown' appears. So if the 'single version' appears on the album and we presume that the single also features this version, what other version is there? Surely it's just 'Downtown', full stop. Or 'Downtown (the version)' if you really, absolutely have to specify.

Track three on Life In Mono is called 'Mischievous'. I don't know why, but I reckon that Emma Bunton pronounces it 'mischievious' - to rhyme with 'devious'. She just has that look about her. You know: Stupid.

She's wearing one of those pervy outfits on the cover, where you can see lots of the top of her leg, but nothing from the knee down. There's also a song called 'Undressing You' on the album. All this should add up to something, but somehow it doesn't. Maybe it's as a result of being branded Baby Spice in her younger days. I don't know. She's about as appealing as a game of Roshambo anyway.

Some people will disagree, but they're wrong. In my book, she's unappealing and my book's called The Book Of Unarguable Facts.